well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
