Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
