if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
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