I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
