Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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