I can tuck mytits in my pants
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
