Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
