im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
