okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
