i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
