No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
