My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
