I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
