She is in my trunk
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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