She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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