It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
