Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
