Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
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