Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
