Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
