I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
