You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
You're a waste of cheezeits
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Randomize
