the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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