I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
