what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
This show inspires me to have sex in space
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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