fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
