I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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