WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
