I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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