the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
