Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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