Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Sponge bath it is.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
