Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
