why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
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