I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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