the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
