even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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