Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
