Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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