he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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