just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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