she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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