You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
