i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
