we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
