I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
