you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
