Betty ford says i'm here all night
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
