Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
