Fine. I'll sleep in my office
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
